Being busy is nothing new to me, I have the personality where I have to be busy or I get anxious. But I might have myself being too busy (which is really hard for me to say). I am very involved in extra-curricular at the school, especially with volleyball, it takes up the majority of my mornings, many afternoons and quite a few weekends. It also takes up a lot of my personal stresses, how can I help one player get their serves over, at the same time I am trying to correct someone else’s jump serve (I can’t even jump serve, I spent an entire night looking at videos to figure what she was doing wrong), and than there is all the extra stuff, like finding people to drive, and answering parents questions about every random thing they think of, and parents come up with random questions a lot.
I also have my actual teaching to do, I just picked up my fifth class, which means I still have four more to pick up. I now understand why those prep periods are so important for teachers, not because they actually need to prepare their lessons, but because they need to mark for their lessons. I have a stack sitting beside me that is ridiculous, and part of it is that I hate telling students they are not good enough to get 100. The feeling sucks, especially when you know how hard a student worked for a mark, but they make silly mistakes or get lazy. Its hard to enjoy marking when you know that a student is going to be crushed because of their marks regardless of what they get unless it is 100. There is no winning, because students have been brought up with the expectation that they are supposed to be perfect. Students do not hear, its O.K. to make mistakes, and it will be OK if you get one bad mark, but their parents were raised in a time when marks mattered, a 100 was important, tests were the only way to evaluate and students are all the same. News flash: THIS IS ALL A LIE.
Marks matter very little, because no one cares what you got in a middle years math, but the school divisions care, because to them all the matters are the marks, not the students, not if the material taught is actually going to be carried over into the next year because obviously marks are the only way to measure student success. I am really starting to feel the pressure of students marks with report cards coming up in a few weeks. Do I assign more meaningless assignments, or do I stick to my teaching beliefs and only assign assessments that are meaningful and teach the students how to apply their learnings? This is so frustrating! They give you all this great information in university but they never tell you that you will have to fight an uphill battle to actually apply the information.
I guess I will go back to marking, so that I can actually figure out how to write report cards for these students who do not want to see their marks, and parents who know that their children are way smarter than a mark a show.