Using a textbook feels like cheating…but it isn’t?

Throughout my entire university education I was taught by many professors to not use textbooks to create my lesson plans. That the textbook is not curriculum and that it is a resource, it can be used to supplement lessons but not be the lesson. And than I entered internship, and my co-op only teaches from textbooks, except for PE (where all of Kathy’s rules are broken). I started my internship not using a textbook, planned my entire Social Studies plan without using it, and than I got to math. By time I finished planning Social I was so tired and rushed on time that I did not care that I used the textbook to plan math. Social planning was stressful and time consuming but Math took no time at all. Using the textbook made my life easier, made me feel like I had a fighting chance to survive internship. Now I am planning Science, and the idea of using the textbook to plan is way too easy, but I feel guilty. I feel as if I am not giving my students 110% of my effort. However, I also feel that if I give 110% effort in all of my subjects and extra-curricular than there will be nothing left of me.

Does using the textbook mean that I don’t care, or that I am lazy. It feels that way but than I think about how much work I put into lessons, and resources and maybe using the textbook is just smart teaching. I can still manipulate the textbook into using the 5Es, and allow some game-based learning. This would allow me to put more effort into the fun and engaging lessons if I do not have to spend all of my time on information lessons and creating new experiments.

Logically it makes sense to use the textbooks as  a valued resource, but that does not make me feel any less guilty. Didn’t someone say that a poor decision is defended only by someone trying to make logic from it. Is that what I am doing? Am I falling too easily into the style of teaching that is no longer celebrated? Why are these not the questions that are discussed at university, why do we only talk about the theoretical material and not the stuff that we actually need to know about? Anyone have ideas, am I the only one struggling? Or is this all interns?

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